Samples of horrible English writing

1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please
sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the
"mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days. ,"

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing
his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it,
please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not
return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare
one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request
you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below.. ,"

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I
may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same
well."

13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an
Accountant - Male or Female' ... As I am both (!! ) for the past several
years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the
post."